Me and they

My identity isn’t under the control of anyone! Huh? Identity? Mmm….? Excuse me! Have you ever heard this word before? Or else, is there exists any collateral word with the same pronunciation on your dictionary? Well, I haven’t found any on mine.

‘Hey man! Who are you?’, they asked.

‘Me? Sorry! I didn’t get ya. You mean…? Who am I? I’m…. I’m what I’m. ‘, I said.

Again, they laughed out loud after hearing my response. 

‘Shit! What’s so wrong with these people??’, I thought.

Of course, I don’t even know who am I? But what about them? Why did they frequently raise their voices up against a young man and bothers him about the same “me”? Does it mean that they all were the creative heads behind the formation of an identity factor “inside”, sorry, “outside” me? If they’re, then for whom’s sake they have been questioning me like this? That too the same query for which I don’t have any specific answer to mention about. This is what they are and I’m totally fed up with their utter nonsense “single” action like this towards me.

Actually, they don’t even know me properly! Hope you also don’t know about at least one among them. Perhaps, I’m also unknown to you. Isn’t it so? If they’re complete strangers to me, how about me for them? Gosh! What the heck is going on between me, you and them? I doubt whether their intention is to keep me under certain low pressure state and robber what I had acquired so far from these days I spent on a lively planet so called earth. But why? Why..?? I often feel so stupid for being a part of this blind world.

I had lost everything except the “one” I cares so much during the mishap on last night. Is that what they needed from my side? A leaf? The one on which I scribbled an “unidentified” word and dug it inside the secret room in my home. And I’m damn sure that no one except me knew about it! I know they are much cleverer than me, though I didn’t expect this much braveness from them. 

Hurray!! “Me” inside I knew about it very well. Finally, I found it. My IDENTITY?? Iyyaaa…!

‘Stop mocking at me, Idiots! So you would like to know who I’m and regarding my identity? See, I’m fully “conscious” now!’, I said.

‘C’mon, Rahul Ashok! It’s not us, but you often feel so bad about yourself at times when we’re speaking……! Of course, I’m your enemy. But why you aren’t showing any sort of interest in us? You could at least “hate” us, ya know?’, they asked me.

‘I know…! I know everything happens all around me. Once, we were friends. I mean, so closer ones to me. On the other day, the unconscious mind inside me compelled to stay apart from you. I felt so regret in doing it, but the fact is I did it already without giving any proper explanations to you.’, I yelled at the girl who is facing me.

‘I don’t think so! Still you do love us. At one corner of your sensitive mind, you have been seeking for your near ones. Yes, you need us now. Only if so, you could survive from the present conditions for which you preferred to find an exact “answer”. Don’t ya wish to know that “reason” behind every cause in your life, Rahul?

‘Arggggg! Will you please leave me alone?”, I begged them.

‘Okay! I know very well that you’re not in the right mood to talk with me. We’re leaving now, only because Rahul Ashok means a lot to us always, whatever be the situation is. We really do miss ya, Buddy.’, she replied back and left from the little room where I was lying on the floor.

Suddenly, I wake up and run towards the other room to get my “treasure” back. The room is closed! But I have the duplicate key in my pocket.

I dig out the small area at one corner of the room to get the leaf and hence accept the real identity regarding “me”. The only piece of paper that can exchange the code regarding my identity to “me”!

‘A word starting with S and ends with R’
*No more clues or hints available*
*Find it out by yourself, Rahul Ashok*

‘But…! It’s……? Where are the letters coming in between these 2? Huh?

I’m CONFUSED!!

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Fool’s Creation

He is a fool!

An indolent laughing stock for others.

His mad thoughts,

Unwitting mind,

Strange look,

Disorderly behavior,

Idle character,

And….?

And…!

The ability to show inconclusive,

Abrupt stupidity for no reason;

Every inert situation

Keeps him alone among others.

They always say, he is abnormal!

He can’t become a brave human being,

At least a morally good soul.

If they can accept his madness,

Why do they hate his heart to heart outputs?

Feelings and emotions can break any rules,

But why can’t they break their foolish judgement about him?

Never say you’re one among them!

It’ll definitely break one’s heart,

Who has creations which can truly inspire the world.

Wait for his turn;

Don’t spend your time for him though.

I really don’t know,

Who is actually a fool?

Who is normal and abnormal here?

If the world needs him,

And he deserves the world,

No one except he can stop him!!

What’s wrong with me?

Life is the combination of obdurate incidents.

Few among them may be cunning ones,

And the rest must be strait laced outputs.

I’m not a good survivor of or against such creaky acts;

Mad enough to accept those portentous facts though.

If there is a reason for everything happens on this living planet,

Then why few among us has a fear of facing those painful realities?

Am I misjudging anyone here in the society?

Or underestimating few people there in my home itself?

My mom is a bipolar patient;

I know and accept it in the right sense like a newbie being!

Is it like a default program created by the brain cells;

Not as similar to the ones in a brave heart?

I’m confused!

But never feel so bad about who I’m;

Why I’m there;

What’s so special about me here?

Answers always hide behind your head!

Come on!! You can argue with them,

Catch them if you can,

And show me that lovely smile which can hold your victory.

Statue

Sometimes feelings are just overwhelming statues;

With eyes and ears closed,

Bow in its sinuous mood,

Make scratches on your true heart,

And count stars yelling above your precipitous head.

If you can’t conquer anything from such garbled deflections,

This is the right time for you to raise your voices.

Raise your voices!

Alas! Raise your voices.

Don’t be so shy in front of an unswerving statue;

You are not deaf or dumb to alter for a strange icon.

No one is going to stop you;

Or at least please don’t try to change yourself for one,

Even if  that someone is whom you really do care about for so long.

In fact! This is your life.

Indeed! This is your life,

Though I’m not gonna exchange my visions to feed through it.

She is mine


I pampered her all through the paths in my world.

Not with an unruffled objective,

But for the notary rights,

Semantic interests,

Explicit belief,

Harmonious wishes,

And ‘something‘ she owns in me.

I don’t know what it is,

Or why didn’t I ask her about it yet.

When she comes nearer to me,

A doubtless incarnation will spell around me.

She knows,

I’m ‘everything‘ for her.

But still, I don’t know,

Why she is more than ‘anything‘ for me.

When she kisses me,

I can’t keep my adrenaline rush to control the normal human desire,

Perhaps, they are just emotions;

Can be controlled or not?

I wish,

Nope, I could control it.

If I can’t,

What’s the difference between me and a rapist for her?

Reality: Part 1

Reality might lead to a variety of unexpected twists in your life! Indeed, I have been facing such multivalent experiences within this 19 years of age. I was also a baby with innocence in my smile and charms on a kid’s face. For me, it’s still unknown regarding the origin and existence of a guy like me in this world. If my birth was meant for something, what actually it is? Why I’m still waiting for that hidden asterisk to rise in the darkness of loneliness? How long will it take for that glittering star to impart in front of me? Am I simply waiting and spending time with this impetuous thought?

Once, in one of my long sleep schedule, I dreamt about the meticulous future and visions I have to a stir back into my hands from this planet. It had really put a great impact on me and I was so surprised to stay in a very new world at least for a few hours through that dream. I wasn’t aware about the consequences and implacable events which I might have to face while walking through that meticulous long path. When I stepped after 5 or 6 foot-long, a sturdy fact hits on my unconscious mind that I’m ‘nude’. Yes, I’m fully nude! I don’t even have a small sheet of paper to cover my basic nudity. Well! Who cares? I didn’t even see a dirty hemp nor fly in this strange area. Hence I continued walking through that unknown path and got stuck with a wormy landscape right ahead of my eyesight. Duh! I’m a little scared now. A greenish rage eyed ugly little fellow passing through a bunch of evacuation spreads all over that plot? Does it show a perfidious signal to me? (My conscious mind already knew it!)

“You bloody dirty creature! How dare you come in front of me?”, I killed him directly with my single footstep on his body and that little worm burst out suddenly with the incorporated excessively filled white colored liquid inside his trunk. It is not blood, but I felt it as a gummy paste stitched on my feet. Whatever it is, I didn’t feel any contrition in killing this unfamiliar insect and continued my journey.

*to be continued….!

Probation

 

Obtrusive Hopes
Hey folks,
I know, it’s been after such a long time I’m updating a post in my blog space. It’s still unknown to me that why did I missed you all these days? Well, I was not totally engaged in my studies though. :/ I spent these days especially after reading some Indian author’s like Chetan Bhagath and Preeti Shenoy’s best sellers with the fake identity in front of my parents that their son is seriously studying for the University exams which will begin by this May, 2013. Yes! Studying something in which you are not interested at would simply make offenses for your time as well as freedom. This is a lesson which I learnt when I got admitted to a professional course like Engineering. The effort you may have to put into achieving this degree is a mystic one according to my own personal experiences as an Engineering student. Actually the fact is, “How could a guy like me can sit similar to a DUMBO for more than continuous 7 hours of unwelcoming lecture sessions?” I’m not sure whether our Universe could accord this much tons of Doctors and Engineers in her! Does it mean we are only depending upon Engineers and Doctors for all our needs? If it is the case, how could you watch movies and songs for entertaining yourselves from daily pressures and strains? How could you live without maintaining health, in which food is a main factor? I can’t even think about it at least in my random dreams! “Life is what actually you make it, not others” I do have belief, trust and faith in God! If he is the person who made me, would definitely give me what I wish to do/achieve in life. What I’m waiting for now is my vibrant hopes in life to come true. Well, let’s hope for the best future coming ahead.

 

The other abject news which I have to share with you is about our movie! It’s finished and I’m waiting for the announcement of Fest result which will be available on the 19th of this month. It will be tight competition according to the entries they have received under this category. There are 500+ shot movies competing for the grand amount of 40k to bag in their hands. I’m planning to release it universally through YouTube on this March. Hope you all will enjoy watching it and would give the frank feedbacks about my new venture. For now, this is what’s left with me. Have a great time ahead, WP blooms. God bless. Cheers.\m/ 🙂