An Egg

It’s too hard to break this barrier! It’s really hard to break it and get freed from where I’m… I tried it. I tried a lot. But I couldn’t; I’m not that strong to do it. I could listen to them. I could readily listen to what’s going on outside this complicated blockade. Mama…. I know her; most of the times, I sleep so peacefully under the warmth she gives me. But when I’m awake, I couldn’t see anything else other than this dotty glue surrounding me. It’s so dirty, I must say. My sparkling eyes are always wet with this stewed glue! It’s so disgusting.. I wanna go out. For that, I must have to break it. I must break this yellow- No! It’s not white– shell around me and go out to see what’s precisely happening there, not only through the voices, but also through my vigilant eyes, both eyes; I want to see myself. I want to see the whole world, then! I want….. No… I don’t know. Am I right with what I just said to you? Shall I’ve to break it? It’s here where I’m alive rightly at this moment. I don’t know how it’ll be outside! I have listened to most of their calls. But what if they’re not right? What if they’re fake? I’m here! I’m alive here. This is my world, then why should I break it? Why should I go out to see an unreal world, a dusky- wide space that I haven’t ever seen yet? It’ll be so cunning to do so, uh? Yes, it’s… Isn’t it? No, it’s….

Photo Credits: Google Images

A Piece Of Paper & My Ink

Those words I penned

were so mysterious ones

for many among them,

not for the one I knew,

an imperfect part of mine.

 

Photo Credits: Tumblr

Me and they

My identity isn’t under the control of anyone! Huh? Identity? Mmm….? Excuse me! Have you ever heard this word before? Or else, is there exists any collateral word with the same pronunciation on your dictionary? Well, I haven’t found any on mine.

‘Hey man! Who are you?’, they asked.

‘Me? Sorry! I didn’t get ya. You mean…? Who am I? I’m…. I’m what I’m. ‘, I said.

Again, they laughed out loud after hearing my response. 

‘Shit! What’s so wrong with these people??’, I thought.

Of course, I don’t even know who am I? But what about them? Why did they frequently raise their voices up against a young man and bothers him about the same “me”? Does it mean that they all were the creative heads behind the formation of an identity factor “inside”, sorry, “outside” me? If they’re, then for whom’s sake they have been questioning me like this? That too the same query for which I don’t have any specific answer to mention about. This is what they are and I’m totally fed up with their utter nonsense “single” action like this towards me.

Actually, they don’t even know me properly! Hope you also don’t know about at least one among them. Perhaps, I’m also unknown to you. Isn’t it so? If they’re complete strangers to me, how about me for them? Gosh! What the heck is going on between me, you and them? I doubt whether their intention is to keep me under certain low pressure state and robber what I had acquired so far from these days I spent on a lively planet so called earth. But why? Why..?? I often feel so stupid for being a part of this blind world.

I had lost everything except the “one” I cares so much during the mishap on last night. Is that what they needed from my side? A leaf? The one on which I scribbled an “unidentified” word and dug it inside the secret room in my home. And I’m damn sure that no one except me knew about it! I know they are much cleverer than me, though I didn’t expect this much braveness from them. 

Hurray!! “Me” inside I knew about it very well. Finally, I found it. My IDENTITY?? Iyyaaa…!

‘Stop mocking at me, Idiots! So you would like to know who I’m and regarding my identity? See, I’m fully “conscious” now!’, I said.

‘C’mon, Rahul Ashok! It’s not us, but you often feel so bad about yourself at times when we’re speaking……! Of course, I’m your enemy. But why you aren’t showing any sort of interest in us? You could at least “hate” us, ya know?’, they asked me.

‘I know…! I know everything happens all around me. Once, we were friends. I mean, so closer ones to me. On the other day, the unconscious mind inside me compelled to stay apart from you. I felt so regret in doing it, but the fact is I did it already without giving any proper explanations to you.’, I yelled at the girl who is facing me.

‘I don’t think so! Still you do love us. At one corner of your sensitive mind, you have been seeking for your near ones. Yes, you need us now. Only if so, you could survive from the present conditions for which you preferred to find an exact “answer”. Don’t ya wish to know that “reason” behind every cause in your life, Rahul?

‘Arggggg! Will you please leave me alone?”, I begged them.

‘Okay! I know very well that you’re not in the right mood to talk with me. We’re leaving now, only because Rahul Ashok means a lot to us always, whatever be the situation is. We really do miss ya, Buddy.’, she replied back and left from the little room where I was lying on the floor.

Suddenly, I wake up and run towards the other room to get my “treasure” back. The room is closed! But I have the duplicate key in my pocket.

I dig out the small area at one corner of the room to get the leaf and hence accept the real identity regarding “me”. The only piece of paper that can exchange the code regarding my identity to “me”!

‘A word starting with S and ends with R’
*No more clues or hints available*
*Find it out by yourself, Rahul Ashok*

‘But…! It’s……? Where are the letters coming in between these 2? Huh?

I’m CONFUSED!!

The Dreaming Soul

As I got down from the Train
I saw so many new faces
Every person had a tale to share
Every person had something to tell
I stood there trapped in the lane
Looking to hold on to that
Which silently slipped again and again

I tried again, tried real hard..
But there was something that was not visible to my eye..
Something that I could feel was there.. Somewhere near..
It called me in many ways..
And I went among the crowd.. To a direction unknown..!

Finally, I found him there
With a completely new face
And a much better outfit.
He is not a kid anymore,
Though I loved the way he looked like.
It kept me standing there for a few seconds,
But with a hope to understand who am I?

There was something surreal about the reflection
I couldn’t pin what it meant
Was he a part of my inner soul
Or was I dreaming with open eyes
With so much to ponder
With so much to think
I got lost in the thoughts
As I forgot to blink

Several memories flashed by..
I didn’t know which one to relate..
I was lost in my own thoughts..
Lost in my own world..
When suddenly somebody pushed me accidently..
I got a little confused..
Coming to reality with a sudden knock..!

Gosh! Where the hell am I?
Either in a dreamy or real world?
What happened to me?
Where is my inner soul?
This was not an unexpected reality,
But a painful alarm I had been waiting for.
My identity was hidden behind his shadow.
Perhaps, this moment has a few more things to tell about myself.

PS: Another group blogging post I had written together with Shruti Fatehpuria (http://ashadeofpen.wordpress.com/) and Swati Jain (http://simplyswatij.wordpress.com/) from India, with whom I always do try to keep in touch whenever time permits. For me, these 2 girls were perfect strangers, but they already knew towards each other since their childhood onwards. Those who have been looking forward to read a number of heartfelt pieces of poetry and personal thoughts, please do stop by their blogs and have a fantastic reading time there. Have a great Sunday ahead for all of you. God bless. xoxo

Am I fool enough to say, Facebook is just a social network only?

When I hear my name ‘Rahul Ashok’, the first thought that comes to me is the visual of my timeline with an updated profile picture and notifications at the top. Facebook has given me an identity since when I started to love it! This is my own world, as I always write in my profile. But what if Facebook takes people away from me, step by step?
Is it showing or reminding me that those friendships were built in it and hence it has all right to take that off as a whole??

My own world!

 Let me hit at the reason of writing this. The immediate cause is the ‘close friends’ option introduced by Facebook. While editing the list, I got confused with certain names, as some are too close to me (I think), but never bother to see me on Facebook. I got an unknown prick of nostalgia that made me check my last year on Facebook, the updates that I had written, the persons who had commented, the style of mocking at each other for fun, the kind of person I was then… It took me back…so long back to the grey shaded yesterdays… The present had no possessiveness on me as I could easily slip away in my magical time machine. Once I started to go through it from back to front, I had my eyes filled, seeing certain names very much alive there. Slowly, it started to suffocate me with lots of memories and the difference that it has with the present. I didn’t feel to see to that any more, as I was breaking out with blocked feelings. For me, Facebook isn’t just a social media for me to share some statuses, friendly chats( With known’s and unknown’s), playing games and all. It’s exactly a creative world put forward by myself, where the control is owned under my hands. 🙂 \m/

I should say that those two persons whom I always refer to as my right and left were gifted by Facebook.:)

 I remember it with all thanks for the two persons whom I always refer to as my right and left were gifted by Facebook. And the huge circle that completes us was welded together with the magic of networking. We used to exchange words in this same platform in any of our walls everyday. We used to make fun of some persons in our gang, the chance kept rolling. Mostly I was the joker and I hug those moments close to heart. As time passed by, some people started to get recognised by public getting into film industry and we all used to rejoice over that. While thinking of those days, I still feel the happiness that we felt being together. Now at this point of time, I realise that I have lost them on Facebook. And they ask me whether I am not still satisfied with a good number of followers. Even when there are huge number of likes or comments in my profile, I miss them in each of what I put there. Most of the times, I search in even the ‘like’ list to find their names in it. My likes or comments get drowned without a response in their profiles as well. Some friends even scold me for appearing in their walls in each of their updates regularly so that other people notice that. So I tend to be silent there, for better. Sometimes, I click on their names and see whether they are online or whether they have updated round that time, and I madly wish that they come to my status as a gang and start commenting there with the old fun. But that doesnt happen, unfortunately, anytime. And I don’t hope that the old time will ever come back again.  I had discussed this with some people in the gang. Some say that they are too busy with many things and they don’t log into Facebook much. ‘Busy’, I believe, is mostly a made-up word, to hide some other reasons behind. Even if you are busy, if you have the real passion to hold a relationship, you will find time to exchange a word, or show a concern even if it is momentary. That matters in a large scale.You never know how lonely the other person is, without you. Feel proud that there are people who wait for you, who search for you, who miss you in your long absence, who turn pages of those good moments together cherishing each… 🙂 🙂

Facebook teaches me, how to expose some hasty thoughts through statuses! 😀 😛

From being friends in Facebook, some relationships grow beyond networking. But we tend to forget the steps behind as we move forward. Once the e- mail id is there, we tend to start chat and forget each other’s Facebook profiles where you were active. Once the phone number is with us, we tend to forget the FB, email and whatever was behind. And getting regular on phone gives us a feel that the other person is just a call away and easily accessible. Slowly the frequency of calls come down and fades away. They never ping on mail, never keep in touch in any of the networks, doesn’t even bother to see what we ‘mentioned’ about them. And you forget that the other person is only and just only a call away, in another essential sense. Relationships keep on changing, when people start to become ‘taken for granted objects’. Even some gets married though! I had read somewhere that everything is most valuable only twice- before getting it, and after losing it. My close friends are those whom I had almost lost here. 🙂


This is not a story of mine alone, but this process is going on with every active person on Facebook, I bet. With this post, I want to remind you of certain people in your old days. Think that someone will be doing this same thing for you too. Try to send a word to those who used to be parts of your regular thoughts, even when you have a handful of new faces with you. I wish you think of them once you finish reading this. 🙂

Am I right?? 😀 🙂

I may appear as a fool to you, for taking such a matter for writing as a blog post. 😛 😀 Many of those who can see their faces in between these words may find it irritating and may discuss about how embarrassing I am. May be tomorrow I will regret for this writing thinking of my silliness, but I will never feel regret with what I wrote here and how I felt for each word in this. It came right from my heart with all the sincerity in it. It was just because, I had a quiet natural feeling that, “I miss you, my dear friends…”

Thank you Mr.Mark! 🙂

I would like to thank, Mark Zuckerberg for lending away such a wonderful gift to the whole world! You are the mahn…
Hat’s off to you… 🙂 \m/

Thanks,
Rahul