In Her Absence

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This was a reminder. Somehow I had forgotten to tell this. I felt neglected. Restricted. I was awake. I was dumb yesterday night, too. I slept by around 3 o’ clock. But then, I woke up– I didn’t know how or when. However, I was in the complete darkness. I sat on my bed, looking everywhere around for my cellphone. I couldn’t find it. I kept it somewhere. I needed a change. Yea! It was there in my backpack. It was safely hidden in the secret pocket. And my backpack was in the hall. I didn’t want to wake up from my messy bed and take it. I was restricted. I had taken a decision to regulate myself from using it. It had her presence. She’s in it. But I knew that I was helpless to do so. I couldn’t go on further like this. I had been like this since I realized that her absence crucified my heart. I didn’t want me to be ruled by anybody else, but she did. It hurt me. I closed my eyes forcefully. I tried to get back to my sleep. Then it began rolling in my mind. Her absence. I got lost. An unbearable pain. Those days. Moments when I felt that she’s there on the opposite side. Looking at me. Talking to me all through her shining eyes. Talking all day long. I was falling for her. I saw myself in those most alluring eyes. I kept rolling on my bed thinking of her. I thought I would be incomplete without her. I feared whether she wanted to know how I was feeling in her absence– it might hurt her, but I didn’t want to do it either. She must be always happy with me. She must smile like she always laughed at me. That innocent smile she had. That facial expression she had when she’s worried. That anger she hovered upon me while she was down, or when I shouted at her. Everything was lost. I missed her. I missed her presence. And she missed my absence at the same time. We’re madly seeking for each other. We didn’t understand why we’re doing so though. Neither I nor she didn’t question it. I was falling for her; she’s waiting for me. If you see that my dumbness is quite unusual, then I would say that I was living in a different world apart from yours with her. I was with her. We’re together although the distance or a few margins separate both of us. I tried to sleep again. I didn’t… I’m alive, still it hurt me. But I’m waiting…

Photo Credits: ourdiaryoflove

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12 thoughts on “In Her Absence

    • Once you feel that you’re in so much pain, why should you hide it? Of course, usage of a few words and framing them into certain sentences wouldn’t express the exact depth of the feeling’s one has in mind. But it feels real when you know that you’re at least trying to express it somehow.

      Thanks a lot for going through it and leaving your feedback. Have a good day. 🙂

      ~ Rahul

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