Death’s Call

I’d a dream of killing myself a few days ago. I tried. I tried my level best to do it. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 00:59 in the morning. I was heartbroken. I was all alone. I was in a mood to hide somewhere: an unknown place of seemly atmosphere which was completely exposed to nature, unbounded by any certainty in rules. I was astonished to accept my self as dumb enough to live in a busiest corner of the world. I was hoping for a change to happen while counting down my footsteps everyday; a change in me would have given a change in the whole new world, too; I was a part of your world as well. I was familiar regarding my absence in the same world a few days later; maybe an year or 2, after that I would remain as a memory in everybody’s mind; nobody would think of me unless and until they realize that once I existed here. I wasn’t a coward, but I was someone who smiled at others most of the times in a day even though I had forgotten to talk to them. I didn’t want to make them feel neither good nor bad about me. Why should I? Let them think of it.

I was never afraid of death; I believed on death as a constant follower of birth as nobody could escape from both, regardless whatever you’ve acquired thus far in life. I was quite nervous to die so though; would it pain a lot when I die?

I didn’t find anything wrong while preferring the choice of death. Hence I died. Although it’d given me too much of pain while the life-factor left from my physical body. I liked it once I was out from it. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall, again. It was 1 o’ clock in the morning. I walked in and around my room trying to remember something I’d forgotten- it’s my journal! I tried to take my journal which was kept under the pillow. But my head was resting upon the pillow. I tried to wake my body up so many times. I couldn’t do it as it was so heavy for me to raise up.

My journal! I promised myself earlier before and written down in the journal that I wouldn’t die. But I did. I’d to erase that “not” with “would” and make it “would”. That’s the only thing I wanted to do before I leave.

It started attracting me- my death! I’d been moving away from my journal. I couldn’t write it down anymore. I’m leaving… My time had come; I really wanted to stay here for completing it, or at least to erase that single world. It’s my time.. I didn’t want to… I’m leaving… With a sinuous scar of it.

Photo Credits: Tumblr

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11 thoughts on “Death’s Call

  1. This was quite an intense post. Nobody can escape death, my friend and you are very right about it. I hope you are doing okay. I am always here to listen if things go wrong or you want somebody to talk to.

    Blessings,
    -Naima

  2. Idichu parippaakki kkalayum…

    Evideyaada nee… Nummada email pani enthey… vilichittu vere eatho numburil ponu…

    Jeevichirippundennu ithokkeyaa enikku thelivu…

    Anyways, returning to the post, why the topic of death?

    P.S. Valla ormayundo, nammude project marannillalla?

  3. I feel there is nothing wrong in taking one’s life. You have full freedom of what you want to do with your life. One needs to be conscious of the fact that one is going hurt his/her loved ones more than himself by killing oneself.

    • Of course, it is true. People lack the courage to do it most of the times, but it happens when they feel that there is nothing else to be done by being alive. It’s just the time they’ve been through at that moment. Surviving at the worst and achieve what you need at the best according to the flow of time. That’s what all those unique legends of history say.

      Thank you so much for your valuable comment. I’m extremely glad to know your feedback. Have a good weekend. πŸ™‚

      – Rahul

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